on becoming a butterfly…

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, 

it became a butterfly.   

(proverb)

For some moments in life there are no words.  ~David Seltzer, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

I find myself deep in the middle of some of those moments.  A tragic accident claimed the life of the 18 year old daughter of a co worker this week, and her 20 year old boyfriend.      A beautiful young woman I've watched grow up.    She had a smile that lit up the room...and touched the lives of all that knew her.  One tragic moment on a perfect Friday night changed the lives of so many.  Two young children, in love with life,  with so much to offer the world.....gone..by no fault of their own.     Two special families, reeling with pain, huge gaping holes in their hearts...but still reaching out to all that knew these kids to offer comfort to others.  These are moments that defy words.    Moments  when I need to hear the voices of our sons and daughters....just to tell them how great they are and how lucky we've been to be there for them, with them....how much we love them, before that chance is gone.   These have been moments where I've only been able to sit in stunned silence and offer up prayers for peace and comfort for these  families ...the mothers and fathers  and brothers and sisters...that are aching, crying, hurting, grieving....over the loss of these two young children.  There are no words.  But I have to believe that like the  caterpillar learned....there will be more. 

 (found this beautiful butterfly in Joe's garden today, dancing in the leftover zinnias....she seemed to agree on the MORE theory!)

a wing, a torch, a promise….

I will not die an unlived life.

I will not live in fear

of falling or catching fire.

I choose to inhabit my days,

to allow my living to open me,

to make me less afraid,

more accessible;

to loosen my heart

until it becomes a wing,

a torch, a promise.

I choose to risk my significance,

to live so that which came to me as seed

goes to the next as blossom,

and that which came to me as blossom,

goes on as fruit.

by Dawna Markova

Some may look at this photo and see an old man holding a bouquet of dead flowers.......I look at this photo, and see a 13 year old boy, holding the seeds of tomorrow in his hands....a life, very well lived.

a wing, a torch, a promise.  

I remember 1965, Joe.  

You have kept your promise.

(and with your loving touch, those seeds of tomorrow will bloom again in spring.

  Thank you for the beauty you bring to my world !)

fly.....

How does one become a butterfly? she asked pensively. 

You must want to fly so much that you are willing 

to give up being a caterpillar. 

Trina Paulus 

After years of inching along the stems in life, I think I"m ready to fly.

Hope my wings will be orange!

the boys of summer…

I can see you

your brown skin shining in the sun

you've got your hair combed back and your

sunglasses on....

(don henley)

And meet our boys of summer....baseball playing, ice cream eating, sand castle building, laughing, sweaty boys of summer.  They play hard, run fast, smile lots, sleep little......and occasionally stop for a hug for Grandma and Grandpa!  Love you all, our growing up boys of summer!  

(and all but one went back to school last week!)

what you’ve got to do…

there are so many people out there 

who will tell you that you can’t.   

What you’ve got to do is turn around

and say “watch me”.       

author unknown

The unplanned moments in life are often the best....and this unplanned photo, taken while wandering around Joe's garden , is all the proof I need.  With strength, determination, perseverance, grace and beauty...this chubby little caterpillar inched up that delicate flower stem.  It was windy, rain was coming and I was sure he couldn't do it.  He did.  He didn't have to turn around.  He had me watching.  Lessons in life...there for the taking, in the peace of Joe's garden.  Advice for my grandchildren, worth remembering....turn around, kids....tell the world to watch you!  

amazing….

When I see your face

there's not a thing that I would change

'cause you're amazing

just the way your are.

(lyrics by Bruno Mars)

These are our girls of summer….. our flip flop wearing, gum chewing, giggling gaggle of cheeky lasses.  Sweet little girls with bare toes, hair feathers and bows, earrings,  "bakeenis" ,  binkies and  bicycles... .....they fill our lives with joy!   And we wouldn’t change a thing.  They are all amazing!  Just the way they are.

making you happy….

 It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.  ~Lucille Ball

In an  inspirational garden, a peaceful place, a testimony to hard work and commitment....standing in front of a statue  with history, a replica of what a man should be...it was easy to recognize what made me happy.  Despite the sweat dripping from places it shouldn't be....humidity that felt like a wall of water to breath through...and temperatures at record levels...I stood with my camera in hand, watching Joe water and trim and tuck and weed.....felt the misty spray on my face  (and wiped it off my lens)..... and listened to the chirp of the thirsty birds thanking him for their drink.  I followed the rainbow that appeared at the end of that hose in the mist and took my seat on the brand new bench to enjoy it.    This is what happiness is.....recognizing where you belong, and what you're supposed to be doing at that moment in time.  And this was mine....to sit in over 100 degree temps, in a garden carved out of the concrete in a middle of a school....to sit in the shade on a bench made from the hands of my very own carpenter...and watch him as he did what he does best......share his huge and loving heart with everyone...and everything...that crosses his path.  Birds, kids, teachers, administrators....he treats them all the same.  With a side of humor, a huge helping of common sense....and with patience, kindness and love. What a start I've made in my life, recognizing who...and what makes me happy.  And  what a lesson we all can learn from watching my  Joe at work.   

the boys of summer….

brown skin shining in the sun…..these are our boys of summer.  Both celebrating July birthdays, both stretching the long lazy days of summer as much as they can….hard to believe that 14…and 11 …short years ago, we welcomed them both!  Happy Birthday, Tyler and Nathan.  Wishing you many, many more sweet summer birthdays!   (and thanks for choosing such a GREAT place for your birthday dinner!)

touching dragonflies…

may you touch dragonflies and stars, dance with fairies and  talk to the moon.

Today, I danced with a dragonfly.  A graceful,  elegant, courageous and very beautiful dragonfly. A delicate insect that lives only a fraction of its life  able to fly.  A miracle that shows us all how to live in the moment….and live it in the fullest!   I will never see a dragonfly again, without remembering my friend, Tracy, who died three years ago from breast cancer.  She was way too young….and like the dragonflies she loved,  was  graceful…elegant…and courageous.    In her short life, she learned how to live in the moment….how to shine…..and oh, how she shined in ...pink!    I felt the whirl of his wings in my hair before I saw him, as I stood on the deck with a broom in my hand….sweating in the thick Nebraska heat.  There’s nothing that can stop me in my tracks…send me running for the camera….like a dragonfly.  Watching the ballet of their flight makes me smile.  The brilliance of their colors as they swoop and dive and dance is astounding.  They are fearless…and agile…..and irridescent…and fly with power and poise.  Today, he teased me with his dance….lighting briefly beside me, once on my shoulder…and with the blink of an eye was gone again, flying upside down, backwards and sideways…twisting and turning like  an aerial  artist in a big top…without a net.  I stalked him awhile…taking photo after photo of soft blurred spots in the center of my capture, until finally…whether he grew tired of the game, or took pity on an old, determined woman….he landed.  In less time than it took to breathe in and out he was gone…..off to dance with the fairies and talk to the moon…..and remind us all how glorious this life is…no matter how long we’re here for.     

wise words…

find the time

the time to read,

to smell the flowers,

to paint your dreams,

to have coffee with a friend,

to learn a new craft,

to write a letter,

to bake a surprise cake,

to go somewhere special,

to REALLY be with the person you love,

or even to do nothing for a while.....

(courtesy of Stylizimo blog)

A lazy, cloudy day in July...filled it with flowers, coffee, friends, the person I love.....and mastered the art of doing nothing while I pinned my away around Pinterest!  (Thanks, Kim....for my newest addiction! )

wishes....

Bloom where you are planted...grow  your roots deep...bend to the winds of life...scatter your petals wildly.....dig in.... hang on...and enjoy the ride.....no matter where you've landed!    (unless it's Joe's yard....you'll definitely be a weed there!)  this one escaped the Weed B Gone!

the secrets to life...

If there is any secret to this life I live, this is it: 

the sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything that can. 

&  there is nothing more to it than that.

StoryPeople

And what cannot be seen in this life of ours sings out loud in this little crazy dog!  In his song lies loyalty, faithfulness, unconditional love, trust and joy......pure, simple joy.  Those that know Gus have heard him sing.  He loves to sing...loud and way off key...and puts his whole body into it, knowing that a trick biscuit waits for him at the end of the song.  He knows the secrets to life.  He learned them early.    He shares them willingly, should you choose to come visit.  Secrets like nothing beats a  good truck ride.!  (He understands those two words....truck ride....they make him twirl and bark and jump for joy!)  Secrets like... take a nap every day...and on the good days, take two!   Keep digging until you find what's buried. (even if it does lie under the flower that Joe just planted.)  .Drink lots of water  and find some shade to rest in..   Play every day.  Protect your territory.   Never turn down the chance to roll in the snow.   And never let 8 pm go by without a greenie.  (we swear he can tell time too!)    There is nothing more to it than that!

i carry you...

here is the deepest secret nobody  knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life: which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart ( i carry it in my heart)

e e cummings

"There is no footprint too small that it cannot leave a lasting imprint on our hearts"

I am reminded tonight of all I take for granted.  Healthy, happy grandchildren that I get to see often.  A place to call home.    Flowers that grow in my garden.  A job I truly love to do.  A family that loves me.  My best friend to share life with.  Stories to tell, journeys to make...pictures to take....I take it all for granted.  It can change in the beat of a heart.  And it did, for a young couple I know very well.  My heart aches for them.  No one should have to bear what they have...but they do it with a smile on their face, and love in their heart.  They show me what faith is...what hope means.....what family does.  To Tori and Jeremy...I'm so sorry, again.  Life isn't fair.  I know it's not suppose to be...but I'll never stop wishing it were.  Know that those tiny footprints leave an imprint on many hearts tonight. We carry your heart in ours. 

Ordinary life...

Time stands still best in moments that look suspiciously like ordinary life.

StoryPeople

A glimpse of the beauty to be found on a hot, humid and very ordinary Sunday afternoon in July.  This  standing still moment....in yellow and purple and green and red and white and blue.... was captured to remind me,  when the winter winds howl....of the joys to be found in the moments of an ordinary day....in a very ordinary life....in the summer days of Nebraska! 

(flowers, again...by Joe.  Flag flies  proudly to support our sailor,

broiling in the summer sun in Iraq.  Be safe, Kevin!)

A better day....

The trick

is to enjoy life.

don't wish

away your days

waiting

for better ones.

Marjorie Pay Hinckley

This was a better day.  One I didn't have to wait for.  A second cup of coffee, linger in the garden, phone calls from family kind of day.  A no work, sleep a little later, take a few pictures kind of day. A write in my journal, turn off the tv, play some new music kind of day.   This is a hard lesson to learn in life...how to make each day a better one.  It's so easy to put it off, wait until the time is right, hope for the perfect weather day....and look back to find that I've missed what it was all about.   I'm learning to leave that last load of laundry, ignore the cups in the kitchen sink and grab that Nikon and head outside.   To stop for a moment on the way to work in the morning, just to enjoy a sunrise. (even though it's been making me a little late!)  And to roll the windows down on the way home and sing along at the top of my lungs to a favorite song! (even when it's still 90 degrees at 8 pm!)    To call an old friend, for the sound of her voice (be ready, Donna...I will!)  ...and pack a box filled with "home" to send on it's way to my favorite sailor in Iraq. (it's leaving Saturday morning, Kevin!)     At the end of this day, it wasn't what I did that I really remember.....its what I didn't do today.  And what I didn't do today was spend it wishing for a better day.....I found it!  Enjoy yours tomorrow!  

(flowers, courtesy of Joe's garden.....driftwood, courtesy of Kevin and Ashley)

In summer....

"I've always liked the time before dawn

because there's no one around

 to remind me who I'm supposed to be,

 so it's easier to remember who I am "

storypeople

Filling the days of summer in the shade of the garden, watching the zinnias dance to the rhythm of the sprinkler!   Colors sing in Joe's garden this year....greens and pinks and oranges and yellows and purples....a chorus of bloom nodding fairies, inviting me to kick off my shoes and  wander down the brick path,   to  pause under the shade of the oak tree and spend a few minutes watching the butterflies feed and the Momma robins teach their babies  to fly.  One single sunrise in this garden is reminder indeed that this is where I am supposed to be....and this is who I am.

beautiful....

She said she usually cried at least once each day

 not because she was sad,

but because the world was so beautiful

and  life was so short.  

( Story People)

Because the world is so beautiful....and life is so short....it's time to change a few things.  Combining, condensing, mixing it all up.....this will become the pages of my life.....the me I want to be crazy mixed with the me I am.....so family, friends and followers....you'll find it all here now.....all new, all fun, and maybe more of the time!  More family, more photos, more fun, more facts, more quotes and hopes and dreams.........follow me through the days. Attitude really is everything....and life is beautiful!    

greedy...

Nature provides a free lunch, but only if we control our appetites.  ~William Ruckelshaus

Not much in life brings me as much joy as the crazy antics of the greedy squirrels in our backyard!  A recent addition to our resident squirrel family is this robust little black squirrel...he's a bold little bugger that we often find sitting in the sun on our deck, leftover ear of field corn gripped tight between his tiny paws, chewing away on his breakfast fit for a King.  Never one to be able to throw away anything that could have a purpose before it's time, Joe had an idea.  Feeding the birds day old bread (discarded when it reached its past the prime status) seemed like such a brilliant idea!    What he didn't bargain for was the new squirrel in town....a greedy, determined and very creative soul in a young bushy body!  His antics caught my eye as I walked by the picture window..and he soon had me laughing out loud.  Joe's day old bread store soon became a black squirrel deli...and by the end of the day, was chewed in half and dropped to ground...and shared by a gang of hungry food stealing squirrels,  two squawking blackbirds and one small  stray rabbit.  Not sure the natives on these two little  acres know much about controlling their appetites...but they sure enjoyed a free lunch today, provided by Joe.    I'm beginning to think I'm married to my very own squirrel whisperer!  I can't remember when I've laughed so hard...or so long.  Thanks, Joe....you have a way of making even the gray days brighter!

Soar....

“There is an eagle in me that wants to soar,

and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud”

Carl Sandburg

On a gloomy winter afternoon, we went for a drive.  It was a wallowing kind of day....easy to grumble, forget about looking for the simple joys to be found on the most ordinary of days.  Coffee almost gone (and so was the gas that costs an arm and a leg now....)...we decided to drive around the tiny pond that's tucked away just a few miles from our home.  Windows down, we cruised around the bend in the road, disappointed in the lack of open water and spring birds...and by accident,  I spotted the most majestic bird of all, perched and ready for flight, directly above us.  He paused, gave us a haughty glare and spread his magnificent wings and swooped away......almost in  slow motion.  What a lesson, on the wings of an eagle, about remembering to look for the joy.... about choosing  to soar...and to quit spending the days of  my life rolling in the mud! 

circle of life

Everything in nature is reborn within the circle of life, 

and shines with new brightness, hope, and promises. 

Flavia

Season follows season, day follows night, month follows month, ....life really is one big circle I take for granted.  For the last month, I've made myself take the time to  look for the holiness in the little moments of life........and it seems as if I've found it here, in the tiny cups of purple joy growing outside our back door.    One solid month.....tiny little shoots poked their bright green heads through the old dirt and leaves on February 14...and now one month later,, with delicate leaves open to welcome the warmth of the sun, still they stand.    A fragile little message in bright purple....promising hope and joy and spring.